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  • 8 hours ago
  • 191236

whatwouldfezwear:

the-sarcastic-robot:

if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon

Better yet, make like one of my favorite short stories and murder them with big frozen leg of lamb and then cook the lamb. 

Then when the police arrive offer them something to eat and then have the police eat your murder weapon. 

image

I love that story

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  • 8 hours ago
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  • 8 hours ago
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sylphoftime:

to this day i think the best response to street harassment is when i saw this two dickheads from my block riding around yelling at girls and they screamed “SHOW US YOUR TITS” to this one woman who was running and she just took off her sunglasses and stared them down and you could hear “OH FUCK THAT’S MY MOM HIT THE GAS” and i’m pretty sure that boy is still grounded

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  • 8 hours ago
  • 226977

collegehumor:

1. Eating a banana

2. Typing

3. Washing your hands

4. Putting on chapstick

5. Unzipping your hoodie

6. Kissing

7. Reading

8. Sleeping

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